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No referees? No problem, here's how to deal with the 'rules' of play

Item Description
Icing In case your team ices the puck, your farthest man forward can follow the opponent's deep man in, but should skate slow enough to let him get to it first, then try to stop the rush.  In case the opponent ices the puck into your end, your defenseman, or whoever is farthest back should skate back to get it.  Goalies should stay put in their crease...
Fouls Perform the self penalization ritual, or "Self-departicipation": By obervation, people who commit fouls typically eliminate themselves from active play for about   7-11 seconds, looking ashamed, skating slowly, vaguely away from the play with head down.
Restarting play When play stops, the following guidelines seem to apply, according to the situation: 1. Your team scores: return to your half of the rink, wait for the rush to come in.  2.The other team scores, look sad for 15 seconds (see 'What to say after they score'), then start a rush from around the slot area.  3.Their goalie smothers the puck:  back off betwen the blue line and the top of the opponent's circles, wait for a rush.  4.Your goalie smothers the puck: Look disinterested until the other team backs off, then have one of your defenseman take it from him, then start a breakout play from behind or beside your net.
Starting a game There at two basic setups, both start with a regular lineup at center  like a face off is going to happen, then make some funny remarks to the guys opposite you. At that point, there are two options, either a.let one of the centers lob the puck into the oppsition's end and take chase, or of the wingers drops the puck as in a regular faceoff.
Offsides A half step offside seems to be generally acceptable. If its clear offside,then follow this procedure:  1. look disinterested (This will ensure nobody takes it from you and heads up ice on a breakaway), 2.then dump the puck to the opponent's corner, and 3.leave the zone. One you've commited an offside, YOU CAN'T FIX IT SO DO NOT take the puck back out of the zone and loop around center ice to re-attack.
fighting Fighters should be ostracized, not encouraged. This is a clear case of somebody who doesn't get what its about.  How dumb would an executive (or anybody else for that matter) look with a black eye or missing tooth?
Violations: trip/slash/elbow Don't do these things…. If they are done to you, sit down with the perp and tell him you have some "issues"…
Two line pass offsides Assume the "no red line" rule, and this one is not a factor.

Puck goes out or hits mesh Similar to offsides.

--- Isn't writing the unwriten rules of shinny hockey against the rules??? ---